Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
