I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
