i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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