Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
