i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
