i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
