I hate your face
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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