Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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