She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
