'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
