So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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