I think my vagina is haunted
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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