hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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