You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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