I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
