Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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