conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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