the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
