well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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