The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
