She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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