i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
