you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize