they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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