I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
