That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
