i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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