dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
