I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
