Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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