How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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