But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
