how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
