When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
