Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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