trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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