butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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