Small penises have feelings too.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
