And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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