Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
