I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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