she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
whose parrot is this?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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