Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
