She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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