I want to walk on stilts...naked
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
