he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
