She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
