Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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