the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
