Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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