First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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