If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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