there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
