I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
