I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
