I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
