it hurts more in the daytime
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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