I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
