Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize