Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
