I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
