Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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