based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
