haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Houston, we have a squirter
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
