Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am naked and annoyed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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