my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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