So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
