Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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