before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
