In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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